10 Secrets Tip And Tricks To Be A Productive Person

Iget a lot of reader questions about pain, trauma, challenge, and struggle. Most of these questions were some variation of, “Is there such a thing as being exposed to too much pain?” or “Are there situations where pain and struggle aren’t helpful but only hurtful?” or “What about trauma? Clearly trauma is a thing.”

These are all great questions. And in this article, I’m going to knock them all out with a deep dive into the psychology of pain, trauma, healing, and building resilience. In the words of the great Tom Brady: let’s fucking go.

“THIS AMOUNT OF PAIN IS JUST RIGHT”

Everyone remembers the children’s story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. You know, this porridge is too hot, this one is too cold, this one is just right.

Well, pain kinda works in the same way. Too much pain will lead to trauma and helplessness. Too little pain will lead to entitlement and selfishness.

But just the right amount of pain and struggle: that’s what allows us to feel a sense of accomplishment and meaning in our lives, which then builds up our sense of autonomy and self-worth—the bedrock of a mentally healthy and happy person.

So, how do you define the Goldilocks Zone of Pain? How do you know how much pain is “just right?”

Generally, research finds that when we’re challenged or struggle in ways that we believe we’re capable of overcoming, those struggles eventually invigorate us and lead to a sense of meaning and accomplishment.

But when confronted with struggles and challenges that we feel powerless to overcome, that’s when we get demoralized, and in extreme cases, experience trauma.

PUMPING PSYCHOLOGICAL IRON

When it comes to understanding the value of mental and emotional struggle, perhaps the best analogy to understand it is physical exercise:

• If you never move your body or strain your muscles, you will become soft and weak and fragile. You’re more prone to injury. You have less physical power to keep yourself safe and healthy. In the same way, if you never mentally or emotionally challenge yourself, you will also become weak and fragile. You’ll be more easily upset and emotionally triggered by the world around you. You’ll have less psychological strength to keep yourself safe and healthy.
• If you try to do way too much exercise—or move way too much weight—you will injure yourself. This injury will lead to chronic pain that is outside of your control and will prevent you from having any agency with that part of your body. Similarly, if you experience psychological struggles that overwhelm you, you’ll be traumatized—and you will experience chronic psychological pain and feel debilitated in that area (or in many areas) of your life.

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